Thursday, July 9, 2009

Excel ... Do you Think I am Good Looking?

Google recently announced that they are producing a new operating system. I could never do it. Never, ever, could I turn my back on Microsoft like that. We have been in a relationship for several years now. Ever since the Spring of 1999 when someone showed me the true power of Excel. He had automated the entire deployment schedule using Microsoft Excel. I was hooked. Over the years, the romance has blossomed. Each and every day more fulfilling than the last. At first it was innocent enought. We started just flirting with numbers. A SUM() function here, a ROUND() there. It devolved into concatenations, COUNTIF() functions and the sordid SUMPRODUCT() (oh, you sneaky double unary, you work so well).

When I started using array formulas, I knew i had a problem. But, I couldn't let go. Deeper and deeper I went into the Excel abyss. SUMIF(), NETWORKDAYS(), TRIM(), DSUM(), AMORLINC(), NPV(), VLOOKUP() [used in conjunction with ISNA()!], the INDEX(MATCH()) combo, SUBTOTAL(), and on and on. The pinnacle was using the infamous intentional circular reference.

Ah, Excel. You are my mentor, my champion and friend. Google Docs has nothin' on you. And you can ignore that OS nonsense. It won't stick. I am with you 'til the end.

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